


The Lucky Ones

by InterstellarBlue (nagi_schwarz)



Category: ASTRO (Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28300647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/InterstellarBlue
Summary: Felix keeps running into Park Minhyuk, an ordinary student who likes taekwondo, cooking, and dancing, just like Felix. Felix has growing feelings for Minhyuk, but Felix has a secret - he's a JYP trainee on the Stray Kids elimination show.Featuring protective Bang Chan, Minhyuk's love of banana milk, Felix and Minhyuk's shared love of stuffed animals, and boys cooking.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Park Minhyuk | Rocky
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	The Lucky Ones

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reherareh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reherareh/gifts).



> Merry Christmas reherareh!
> 
> You requested cuddly/clingy Felix and Felix and Rocky cooking, so here you go!

Felix questioned his own sanity about a thousand times a day. Why had he moved to a foreign country where he barely knew the language? Oh. That’s right. Because he loved to dance, and he loved to sing, and he loved to rap, and because he wanted to become an idol. His parents had sacrificed a lot to send him here, and he had to work hard so he could make them proud.

Thankfully, he had the magic of Papago on his mobile so he could get around. He could type into it — or even speak into it — and it could translate for him (although it had a hard time with his accent more often than not, dammit), and it could even translate photos of writing for him, which was great, because he still didn’t always have the hang of reading hangeul despite his parents drilling it into him for months before the big move.

A weekend pass from the dorms to go sightseeing in Seoul — and go put some offerings in front of some ancestors’ graves at a columbarium in a small suburb — had been good for his sanity. The city was really pretty, and also Felix was doing something nice for his parents. Even though his family was Catholic, his parents cared about traditions like respecting their ancestors, and they hadn’t been able to come back to Korea to leave offerings for a while, so Felix being able to do this favour for them meant a lot. As long as he got back to the dorm on time, everything would be fine.

Only — only Felix had no idea where he was. He’d stopped to buy some food at a sandwich shop, because sometimes a boy wanted a sandwich and food more like from home, and now he was all turned around. Where was he? Felix unlocked his mobile and went to pull up a map, and —

Oh no. 

“No. No no no no no.” Felix was out of data. No. Surely he’d downloaded the Korean language pack for Papago? He tapped at the app desperately. He had not.

Panic welled up in Felix’s chest. He couldn’t phone Chris, and he couldn’t text Chris, unless he could get free wifi from somewhere? Maybe he could go back into the restaurant and use their wifi. South Korea always had good wifi. He could message Chris for help, right? He could go inside and download the Korean language pack for Papago and everything would be fine, right? 

Felix took a deep breath. No. He couldn’t always go running to Chris when things got bad. He was pretty sure he was getting on Chris’s nerves anyway.

And then he spotted a boy about his own age wearing a dark blue school uniform walking past.

Felix called out. “Excuse me!”

The boy turned, raised his eyebrows, pointed to himself.

Felix nodded and beckoned. The boy hitched his backpack higher on his shoulders but ambled over, expression wary. He was taller than Felix, had intense dark eyes, high cheekbones, was handsome.

“Ah, hello. I’m Lee Felix.” Felix bowed.

The boy bowed back. “I’m Park Minhyuk.”

“I’m lost,” Felix said.

Minhyuk nodded. “Are you a foreigner?”

Felix nodded, bit his lip. He was full-blooded Korean, and most people looked at him like he’d been dropped on his head as a baby because he struggled at speaking Korean so much. Chris had lived in Korea for seven years and spoke Korean so well in comparison even though he was also fluent in English.

Minhyuk spoke slowly and carefully, and Felix was both embarrassed and grateful. “Where are you trying to go?”

Felix had heard that a lot of Korean boys didn’t care much for idols or idol trainees, so he wasn’t about to tell this strange boy that he was looking for the JYP trainee dorms. “I am trying to get back to my apartment.”

“Where is your apartment?”

Felix bit his lip again, then showed Minhyuk the address on his mobile. He added, “I have no more data. Can you use your mobile to find directions?” 

Minhyuk ducked his head. “Ah, I don’t have a mobile.”

Felix eyed Minhyuk’s school uniform, which looked very fancy, but then he supposed that if his school was expensive, maybe his parents didn’t have money for a mobile.

But Minhyuk said, “I have a paper and pen.” He shrugged off his backpack and fished around inside for a notebook and a pen.

He had one of those pens that had a bunch of different colours in it, and he clicked on the blue absently, flipped open a notebook. Then he began to write, while speaking slowly. He explained how to get to the subway station, and then which train to take — even how to get to the right platform — and how many stops to go, and how to find the right exit.

“You know your way around the city well,” Felix said.

“Only some parts of the city,” Minhyuk admitted. He tore the piece of paper out of his notebook and handed it to Felix.

Felix bowed and thanked him profusely, probably used the wrong level of honorifics judging by the way he raised his eyebrows.

Minhyuk said, “I was new to the city once. It was scary, and someone helped me.”

“Thank you again,” Felix said.

Minhyuk pointed down the street. “The subway station is that way.”

Felix nodded, and he waved. “I was lucky to meet you today,” he said, in English.

“Lucky,” Minhyuk echoed back in English, expression odd.

Felix smiled, bowed one more time for good measure, and then hurried away, because he really couldn’t afford to be late.

He kept the note tucked into one of his favourite books, because it was lucky, and also Minhyuk had clear, easily readable handwriting for Felix to study, and the memory of such a kind, helpful stranger was a comforting one in the days that followed, when things were hard.

* * *

When Felix was selected for the elimination show along with Chris, he was so, so excited. This was it, his chance to prove that he had what it took to be an idol, that he could cut it in the industry, that he had the talent and the skill and the fortitude to be a professional entertainer and artist. Felix and the rest of the boys went out to dinner to celebrate, and of course there were cameras and interviews to document everything, and there would be a lot of publicity about it all.

But the trainee managers weren’t cruel, and they knew that all the boys would need some stress relief, valves to burn off the pressure, so one night, a week before the show was supposed to start filming, they were all given a pass to go out and get some air, have some time away from each other. They were going to be competing against each other for a spot on the debut team, and as much as they were friends, had trained together and helped each other, they were also rivals, and things could get strained. 

Felix made sure he had the appropriate apps — and language packs — downloaded, that he had his data charged and his wallet in his pocket, and then he set off. Did he want to go clothes shopping? Did he want to get food? No, junk food was a bad idea. He didn’t want to gain weight or have a swollen face or anything right before filming. Looks mattered in this industry. 

Instead of heading downtown where shopping or eating might be a big temptation, Felix headed for the subway, picked a random stop, and then walked away from the station until he found a quiet little neighbourhood and a small playground with brightly-coloured equipment, and he headed for the swings.

There was another boy already on one of the swings, a boy his own age. A backpack was sitting on the ground beside the swings, a white school uniform blazer laid over it.

Felix approached cautiously, as the other boy appeared lost in thought, but then Felix came up short, because he recognized the other boy.

“Park Minhyuk-ssi?”

The boy lifted his head sharply, and he looked almost panicked at being recognized. But then he looked at Felix and recognized him back, and he smiled, bright and unexpectedly sweet. He had dimples. “Ah — the foreigner from the other day? Lee Felix?”

Felix sank down on the other swing. “You remembered?”

“One of my hyungs — when he studied English overseas, they gave him Felix as his English name,” Minhyuk said.

Felix wasn’t sure if Minhyuk meant an actual older brother or just a close friend, but he didn’t press further. He wanted to comment on what a coincidence that was, but it occurred to him that he didn’t know the Korean word for coincidence. 

Felix looked Minhyuk over. “You’re wearing a new uniform? Did you transfer to a new school?”

Minhyuk looked down at himself. “Ah, it’s just a different uniform. Different —”

And he said a word Felix didn’t quite catch.

“Pardon?”

Minhyuk said it again.

Felix said, “I don’t know that word?”

Minhyuk said, “Summer, autumn, winter, spring.” And he said the word again.

Understanding lit in Felix’s mind. “Season.” 

Minhyuk nodded. “Yes. Different season, different uniform.” He blushed. 

“Sorry. Korean is very hard,” Felix said.

Minhyuk tilted his head. “Your Korean is much better than when we last met. You’ve worked hard.”

“Thank you.”

“Where are you from?”

“I’m from Australia.”

“Ah. Kangaroos.” Minhyuk held his hands in front of him and mimed hopping, and he looked adorable. “You speak English?”

Felix nodded and said, in English, “I’ve spoken English all my life.”

Minhyuk lit up, and then he said, with passable hip-hop swagger, “Put yo’ hands up.”

Felix dabbed, and Minhyuk cheered.

“My parents are Korean,” Felix said. “But I was born in Australia. I grew up speaking English.”

Minhyuk nodded. “I’m from Jinju-do. In the south. I speak satoori. When I first moved to Seoul, the Seoul accent was hard for me too.”

There was an awkward pause. Felix fumbled for some of the phrases he’d learned in class. “What do you do for fun?”

Minhyuk considered. “Taekwondo.”

Felix lit up. “Me too!”

“What belt?” Minhyuk asked.

Felix had a second degree black belt, but he said, simply, “Black. What about you?”

“Me too.” Minhyuk smiled. He hopped up from the swing and went and poked around in his backpack, came up with a black beanie hat, which made sense for him to be carrying around, given that it was October and chilly. 

He had bleached brown hair. Did he have to cover it over at school? Or was his school a bit liberal with hair colours as long as they were in the natural colour range? Felix’s old school back in Australia had been quite strict about what hair colours students could have.

Minhyuk managed to hang the beanie from the monkey bars with what looked like a school tie, and then he limbered up his legs, assumed a fighting stance, and spun into a really impressive jump kick — and kicked the beanie.

“Your turn,” he said, grinning.

Felix stood up and considered the beanie, shook his legs out. Could he hit the target? He was shorter than Minhyuk, his legs a different length. It took a couple of tries, but then he landed the strike.

After that, Felix got to choose where to hang the beanie, but then they gave up using the beanie and started calling targets like a specific leaf on a tree, or a branch, or a twig, or a flower, for high kicks and low kicks, straight kicks and hook kicks, spinning kicks and jump kicks, running kicks and sliding kicks, back kicks and double kicks.

Felix hadn’t been able to do a lot of taekwondo in a while, and it was competitive and fun without being stressful, something that didn’t require a lot of words. He and Minhyuk were able to communicate with a glance or a grin or a lift of an eyebrow.

At the end of it all, they sank down onto one of the benches, breathless. Minhyuk reached into his backpack and handed Felix a bottle of water, and they rehydrated.

“You want a snack?” Minhyuk asked.

They’d established that Minhyuk was born in 1999, and that since Felix was born after the lunar new year in 2000, he was a year younger.

Felix craned his neck and tried to peer into Minhyuk’s backpack. “What kind of snack?”

Minhyuk shook his head. “Not in here. There’s a convenience store nearby. I’ll buy, since I’m older.”

Felix nodded. “All right. I’d like a snack.”

Together, they walked down the hill from the playground to a little convenience store with a brightly-coloured awning and windows decorated with sticker ads. The old lady behind the counter greeted Minhyuk with some familiarity, but she spoke with a heavy satoori accent that Felix couldn’t understand, and when Minhyuk answered, it was also in satoori, though Felix did catch that Minhyuk called her Grandma.

“Buy anything you want,” Minhyuk said, gesturing to the shelves.

Felix picked a little sweet snack, and Minhyuk picked a packet of vanilla Pepero, and then he went to pay.

“She’s from the south, same as me,” Minhyuk explained as they headed away from the convenience store. “So I speak satoori to her. I remind her of her grandson. You live near here? Go to school near here?”

“No. I just came here randomly,” Felix said. He really ought to figure out the Korean word for coincidence. “You?”

“My apartment is near here,” Minhyuk said. He glanced at his watch. “I probably have to get home now.”

He had a really nice watch.

“It was nice hanging out with you,” Felix said. “It was lucky to see you again.” He added in English, “Lucky.”

Minhyuk looked suspicious for a moment, but he echoed back in English, “Lucky.” He waved and turned to go, and then Felix said,

“Do you want to be friends over email? I remember you don’t have a mobile.”

Felix fished his mobile out of his pocket and unlocked it so he could add Minhyuk as a contact.

Minhyuk lit up. “I have a mobile now.” He reached into his pocket and dug out his mobile. He had a nice mobile now.

They exchanged contact information, mobile numbers and email addresses and KakaoTalk IDs.

“I’m busy with, ah, school, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to hang out often,” Minhyuk said, biting his lip and looking a little regretful.

Felix felt bad for lying, but he said the same thing. After all, he was about to get busy with the elimination show. While everyone hoped that the show, which would be broadcast on TV, would get good publicity, he figured a boy like Minhyuk wouldn’t be that interested in idol groups.

Although he did notice that Minhyuk had pierced ears like a lot of idol boys did. Maybe Minhyuk was into underground hip-hop? Those kinds of boys probably hated idol groups. Which might not bode well, if he and Felix ended up being friends. But if — not if,  _ when _ — Felix survived this elimination show, he’d be really busy, and he probably wouldn’t have much time for friends outside of the company or outside of the industry, right?

Only it would be nice to have a friend away from the crazy.

And if Minhyuk was into underground hip-hop or something, he probably wasn’t the kind of person who spent time looking up idol groups and then wasting energy on hating them. He was busy with school and taekwondo, after all.

“But we can message each other,” Minhyuk said, and offered another one of those dimpled smiles, and Felix felt his heart skip a beat.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Felix smiled back, and added in English, “It’s always lucky to see you.”

“Lucky,” Minhyuk said.

They shook hands and exchanged one of those one-armed back-slapping bro hugs, and they went their separate ways. Felix headed back to the dorms, feeling pretty good about his day off. 

* * *

In the next few days as preparations for filming the elimination show ramped up, Felix messaged Minhyuk, who was slow but consistent about messaging back. 

Felix told Minhyuk that he had an older and younger sister, who still lived with his parents back in Australia; he had come to Seoul to study on his own. He learned that Minhyuk had a younger brother, and he’d come to Seoul to study in middle school, and his mother and brother had moved with him, but his father had stayed down in Jinju to work, which was a huge sacrifice, and Minhyuk was very grateful.

Felix admitted he was living in an apartment with some friends, including his friend Chris, who was also from Australia but spoke much better Korean and was very patient about helping him, but sometimes overestimated how much he understood. 

Minhyuk was sharing an apartment with some friends as well, a classmate and some sunbaes from his school who’d already graduated and were working.

As it turned out, they both loved plush toys and had large collections, and Minhyuk unabashedly admitted he slept with a stuffed wolf, which Felix thought was adorable, though he was more of a feline person himself.

But then the elimination show got underway, and Minhyuk got busy with school and his extra-curricular activities, and messages were few and far between, just an,  _ are you okay? _ and an,  _ I’m alive. _

It was difficult. Felix thought he knew Korean well, but it was a struggle all the time, and with cameras on them and being interviewed (though sometimes it felt like being interrogated) and trying to work as teams to come up with performances and trying to learn rap parts for songs really quickly, he was tired and stressed out. He had to be doing his best every second of every day, and at the end of the day he tumbled into bed and really wanted to cry.

One night, after a pretty awful day when he’d felt like he’d let his team down — was he even a good dancer? Or did they say that just to make him feel better? — he wanted nothing more than to sleep forever, so he tugged his blankets up over his head and curled up in the darkness and closed his eyes.

His mobile lit up with an alert.

What now? An emergency meeting? A sudden mission?

He whimpered and scooped up his mobile, unlocked it. He’d received a text message.

It was a picture of Minhyuk, wearing pajamas and cuddling a stuffed wolf.

_ Hope everything is going well! Felix fighting! _

Felix wanted to cry. Minhyuk was adorable, and his dimpled smile was so sweet. Felix wanted to call Minhyuk and confess everything, that he was an idol trainee, that things were going horribly and he was probably going to fail, but Minhyuk thought he was an ordinary school student, an exchange student or something, and Minhyuk would be so mad that Felix had lied, and then Felix would have no friends outside of the company, and what then?

Felix gazed at the picture for a long time, and finally he typed back,  _ Thank you. Your picture is very healing. Minhyuk fighting! _

He considered sending a picture back, but he was pretty sure he looked awful, so he set his mobile to  _ do not disturb _ and shoved it under his pillow and went to sleep.

* * *

When the show’s producers and the trainee managers agreed to give everyone a one-day break, away from each other, no cameras, no nothing, that day couldn’t have come sooner. Even though Stray Kids as a show had been touted as  _ trainees versus JYP,  _ there was still the threat of elimination, and after they’d lost Minho, the pressure was on, and Felix needed a break, needed to get out, and as soon as the appointed time came, he was on his feet and out the door.

He didn’t even care where he was going. Where was he going?

He hopped on the subway, rode to a random stop, got off. He followed an ahjumma in a bright dress because he liked the colour of it, and somehow he ended up in a supermarket.

Because the show was airing, there was a chance he could be recognized, so he’d put on makeup to hide his freckles, and he wasn’t wearing earrings, and he was wearing a beanie to hide his hair, and maybe he’d be careful to pitch his voice higher if he had to speak to anyone.

While he was in a supermarket, he could buy some food. Random snacks. One day of eating whatever he wanted, however junky, wouldn’t hurt him, because then he’d be back to working like a dog and stressing out, and he’d probably lose weight in buckets of sweat alone, so.

Felix scooped up a basket and was about to set off down an aisle and go crazy, but then he paused and checked his account balance on his mobile. He couldn’t go too crazy even though his parents sent him a regular allowance.

“Felix-ssi?”

His heart crawled into his throat. Had he been recognized? He spun around, ready with his best publicity smile, scrambling to switch his brain into Korean mode.

Minhyuk was standing in the aisle opposite him, a little shopping basket over one arm. He had a neatly-printed shopping list in hand.

Felix smiled, relieved. “Minhyuk-ssi! What a coincidence!” He’d finally learned the word. “What are you doing here?”

Minhyuk waved his list. “Grocery shopping. My brothers are all busy today, and I have the apartment to myself, and I was going to cook. I, ah, I like cooking.” He blushed a little.

Felix lit up. “I like cooking too. I don’t get to cook often, but I like trying to make new things.” He peered at Minhyuk’s list. “What are you making?”

“I’m trying a recipe my mother sent me. Spring onion pancakes.”

“I’ve never had those,” Felix admitted.

Minhyuk’s expression turned thoughtful. He said, “You want to come over and cook with me? I can show you how. Since all the others are out.”

Felix was a bit nervous about going to a stranger’s place, but also he had his mobile, so he could message one of the others if things got dicey. And he and Minhyuk had hung out before, so he said, “Sure.”

Minhyuk held the list out to Felix. “Here’s what we have to buy.”

Felix smiled at him.

Minhyuk showed him around the supermarket — he’d been here many times before, since it was the supermarket closest to his apartment and he knew his way around well. He explained what all the ingredients were, and also they bought some drinks and treats for dessert, and also some other ingredients for side dishes, and then they headed up to the front to pay.

Minhyuk paid confidently with a credit card, which was pretty impressive for a high schooler, and then they set off for his apartment, which was within walking distance. Minhyuk punched in the code for the main door, and then they rode the lift up several floors, and then Minhyuk put in the code for the apartment door. Felix was surprised at the sheer number of shoes just inside the front door.

“How many roommates do you have?”

“There are six of us total,” Minhyuk said.

Felix looked around, curious. The apartment wasn’t too messy, but seeing as how Felix lived in a dorm with eight other boys, he knew what it was like, living with boys, and a bunch of boys definitely lived here. Some clothes were scattered across the furniture. A collection of meme-worthy pictures of Minhyuk and other boys who must have been his roommates was taped to one of the walls.

The apartment was pretty nice, though. 

“I sleep in that room with three others,” Minhyuk said, pointing. “Two sleep in that room. We have two bathrooms.”

The kitchen was a bit small, but Minhyuk moved around it confidently. He had a blue apron with his initials embroidered on it in English, which was cute.

Felix washed his hands and moved to stand beside Minhyuk. “How can I help?”

Minhyuk smiled at him, and Felix felt his heart skip a beat. Minhyuk set a skillet to heating on the stove, and Felix mixed up the pancake batter. Minhyuk washed and prepared the green onions, and he also prepared some vegetables and sauces for side dishes.

“You’re really good at this,” Felix said.

Minhyuk smiled. “Lots of practice. You’re doing good. You listen well. Better than my dongsaeng roommate.” He wielded a large kitchen knife confidently, slicing vegetables neatly and evenly. “What kinds of things do you want to learn how to cook?”

“I like pasta — Italian pasta,” Felix said.

“Next time we should cook Italian pasta,” Minhyuk said.

Felix liked the sound of next time. “What else are we making?”

“Kimchi fried rice. There’s kimchi in the fridge.” Minhyuk pointed.

Felix went and opened the fridge, and Minhyuk popped open the rice cooker. 

“Wow, you have a lot of banana milk,” Felix said.

Minhyuk said, “You can have some if you want. My hyungs will steal it sometimes, but I’ll share with you.”

Felix felt warmth spread in his chest. “Thanks.” He grabbed the container of kimchi and brought it over to the counter, and then he grabbed a little bottle of banana milk for himself.

Minhyuk heated some oil in another skillet, and then he mixed some rice and kimchi in it, used a giant pair of chopsticks to mix it all around. He tossed it all in the air, caught it.

“Wow,” Felix said. “How do you do that without dropping any?”

Minhyuk beckoned him over, held out the skillet. “Here, you try.”

“Are you sure?” Felix held the skillet tentatively.

Minhyuk stood beside him, curled a hand around his wrist. “A straight down-up motion. You won’t drop anything.”

Minhyuk had large, strong hands. His hand around Felix’s was warm and gentle but confident. 

“Like this.”

Felix was starkly aware of how close Minhyuk was standing behind him. He smelled good, clean but also like some subtle musky cologne.

Minhyuk guided Felix’s wrist as he tossed the skillet, and sure enough, together they tossed the mix of kimchi and rice and caught it in the skillet again.

Felix cheered. “Yay!”

“Good job,” Minhyuk said. “See? It’s not too hard.”

They continued cooking, and soon they had an entire meal to share. They sat at the low table in the den and spread the food out between them.

“I’ll eat well,” Felix said.

Minhyuk said, “Eat lots,” and they toasted each other with little bottles of banana milk, and they dug in.

Felix had helped his mother cook a few times back home, and he’d pitched in with the others cooking in the dorm, but this was the first time he’d really made a meal for himself, and he was pretty pleased.

Minhyuk gave him the first piece of the green onion pancake and waited for him to take a bite.

Felix chewed slowly, considering the taste.

“What do you think?” Minhyuk asked.

Felix nodded. “It’s good!”

“Because you did a good job.” 

Minhyuk smiled, and Felix blushed.

While they ate, Minhyuk asked Felix about the food he grew up eating back in Australia, what kind of Korean food he liked, what food he missed from home. A couple of times, Felix had to look up pictures of food on his mobile or translations to try to explain certain dishes, and somehow they ended up making plans for a second cooking hangout, this time Italian food plus a bunch of Australian treats and side dishes.

Once the meal was finished, they cleared off the table and went to wash the dishes together.

“You like music?” Minhyuk asked. 

Felix nodded tentatively.

Minhyuk held out his mobile. “Australian music?”

Felix was glad that Minhyuk didn’t suggest they listen to K-pop, and he turned on some Five Seconds of Summer. Minhyuk nodded along to the music, rolled up his sleeves, and filled the sink with warm soapy water.

Felix sang along.

Minhyuk smiled at him. “You sing well.”

“Thank you.” Felix almost added that he had trained very hard to sing well but stopped himself.

Minhyuk nodded along to the music, and while Felix sang, he hummed along, picked up a harmony.

When the song ended, Felix said, “What music do you like?”

Minhyuk turned on Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars — and began to move to the music while he scrubbed the dishes.

Felix bobbed along to the music as well. “You like to dance?”

Minhyuk nodded. “I love to dance. You?”

“I like to dance.”

Minhyuk grinned, and Felix’s heart fluttered at the sight of his dimples. Minhyuk shook the soap suds off his hands and began to really move to the music, and — wow. He was a really good dancer. Felix had pretty good swag, but Minhyuk was on a whole other level, swaying hips, sexy body rolls, and an incredible smirk.

Minhyuk beckoned, so Felix started moving with him, and they managed to fall into step together. 

“You’re a good dancer,” Minhyuk said.

“Thank you.” Felix started threading the needle, and of course Minhyuk joined in.

The next song was, surprisingly, TT by Twice.

Felix supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised that a boy his age might like a girl group, but then Minhyuk started to dance, and he knew the choreography, and he could dance it cutely. Felix joined in, and Minhyuk’s expression lit up.

They danced to a whole bunch of girl group songs till they were breathless, and then they collapsed on the sofa, grinning at each other.

“Wow,” Felix said. “You’re a  _ really _ good dancer.”

“You too,” Minhyuk said. 

Felix cleared his throat. “Not many boys like both taekwondo and dancing.”

Minhyuk shrugged one shoulder. “We’re not many boys, are we?”

Felix nodded and rested his head on Minhyuk’s shoulder, and they stayed there for a moment.

“We should finish washing the dishes,” Felix said. “Before the water gets cold.”

Minhyuk nodded. “Yeah, but we danced hard.”

“We did.”

They stayed there for a few minutes, in silence, and a new song came on. A song sung by a boy.

“You like boy groups? I don’t know this song,” Felix said.

Minhyuk cleared his throat. “Ah, this is called Fireworks. Let’s finish the dishes.” He jumped up and turned off the music and headed into the kitchen.

Felix mourned the loss of Minhyuk’s warmth, but then he heaved himself off the sofa and followed. Minhyuk scrubbed, and Felix dried, but he didn’t know where anything went, so he stacked the dishes on the counter. Minhyuk went to hand Felix a dish, and he accidentally splashed water on his face.

“Oh, sorry!” Minhyuk dried his hands on a towel and reached up, wiped the water away with his thumb.

“It’s fine,” Felix said, and then he realized that Minhyuk was cradling his face, the way people did in the movies right before they kissed.

They were looking right at each other.

“Oh,” Minhyuk said softly. “You have freckles?”

Felix shrugged out of Minhyuk’s grip, pressed a hand to his face. “Ah — yes.” Most Korean people didn’t have freckles. Other children had made fun of him at school, growing up. “I cover them with makeup.” Even though his freckles were supposed to be one of his charms as an idol, he knew that they looked weird on a Korean boy.

Minhyuk said, “They’re cute. You shouldn’t have to cover them up.”

Felix’s heart skipped a beat. “You think so?”

Minhyuk nodded. “Yeah. I understand feeling more comfortable with makeup, but your freckles are really cute.”

Felix searched Minhyuk’s gaze for any hint of insincerity. Minhyuk held still, allowed the scrutiny, his dark eyes endless, his expression patient.

Finally, Felix said, “Thank you. I’ll be more confident about them now. It’s just — most Korean people don’t have them. Plenty of Australian people do, but —”

“You’re Australian, aren’t you? You’re also Korean, but you were born in Australia, right? So that makes you Australian as well as Korean, doesn’t it?” Minhyuk said.

“It does,” Felix said, but it was so much more complicated than that. He smiled at Minhyuk. “You’re so nice to me. I’m not used to it.”

Minhyuk frowned. “Are most people unkind to you?”

“No, but — you’re nice. I like it.”

Minhyuk’s frown faded. “Well, you deserve to have people be nice to you.” 

He resumed scrubbing the dishes, so Felix continued drying.

He said, “Yongbok.”

Minhyuk turned to him. “Pardon?”

“My Korean name is Yongbok. No one really uses it, and my parents never called me by it when I was growing up, but — Yongbok. Is my Korean name.”

“It’s a good name,” Minhyuk said. “My name — Minhyuk — it’s terribly common. My parents meant well, but so many other boys are named Minhyuk. It can be difficult sometimes.”

“Do you have an English name?”

“No.”

Felix looked him up and down. “Philip,” he said.

Minhyuk tested it out. “Philip?”

“Yeah. Felix and Philip. What do you think?”

Again with one of those adorable dimpled smiles. “I like it. Thank you.”

They finished the dishes, and then Minhyuk walked Felix back to the subway station.

“Today was probably my last break for a while,” Felix admitted. “I don’t know when we’ll be able to hang out again.”

“I understand,” Minhyuk said. “Message me when you think you’ll be free, and hopefully I’ll be free. I’m kind of busy right now as well.”

“But I had fun today, so thank you.” Felix grinned and added, “Philip.”

“Thank you, Felix,” Minhyuk said, in careful English.

“As always, I’ve been lucky to see you,” Felix said, pronouncing  _ lucky _ in English. He waved, then turned and headed into the subway station.

All the way back to the dorm, he felt warm and light, remembering dancing with Minhyuk, and eating with him, and Minhyuk’s hand on his wrist while they were cooking, and the way Minhyuk’s hands had felt on his skin, and how close he and Minhyuk had been standing when Minhyuk had wiped the splash of water off his face.

The warm, happy feeling vanished when Felix realized, with growing horror, that in that moment, he’d wanted Minhyuk to kiss him.

Even though he knew Minhyuk wasn’t like that, that Minhyuk liked girls — after all, he liked girl groups, as evidenced by their songs on his mobile — Felix wanted Minhyuk to kiss him.

But then it occurred to Felix — how many straight boys could dance to girl group dances like that? Besides idols and idol trainees, at any rate? 

Granted, up to this point, Felix had thought of himself as mostly straight, even though there were some guys that every guy was a little gay for, because certain levels of hotness transcended sexuality.

Minhyuk did taekwondo, which was not per se a straight sport, but he liked to cook, and he liked to dance, which were not per se girly hobbies, but —

Felix buried his face in his hands. He and Minhyuk were just friends, right? Minhyuk telling Felix that he danced well and his freckles were cute — Korean boys did closeness differently than Australian boys, Felix knew; Chris had warned him about that when he’d first moved into the dorms.

What would it matter, anyway, if Minhyuk did like Felix as more than friends? Felix was an idol trainee. Trainees weren’t allowed to date, and idols weren’t allowed to date, and even once Felix was allowed to date, he certainly wouldn’t be allowed to date another boy. Even if Minhyuk said he was all right with keeping their relationship a secret, Felix would be busy all the time, and they’d never get to spend time together, and they’d have to be so careful they’d be bordering on paranoid when they  _ did _ have time together. Would Minhyuk be willing to wait till Felix’s dating ban was over? Would Minhyuk be okay with Felix pretending to flirt with girls for fanservice?

Felix was so caught up in his spinning thoughts that he nearly missed his stop for the dorm.

He marched up the stairs to the street. He was getting ahead of himself. He and Minhyuk were friends, just friends, and Felix didn’t know if he was going to be an idol yet anyway. He had to work hard as a trainee, and do his best as one of the Stray Kids, and then maybe he’d get to hang out with Minhyuk again, and he could try to sort out his feelings then.

* * *

Felix was crying when he stumbled out of the practice room. Changbin had been on his knees crying, and Chris had been crying, and Felix had been crying too hard to see who else had been crying.

He’d worked so damn hard at his singing and dancing and rapping, but Korean was such a hard language, and of course he’d been cut. How could he ever make it in K-pop if he couldn’t handle the K part?

Humiliation and frustration burned in his chest along with the tears burning in his eyes. Show crew members and company staff scattered out of his path when he stumbled down the hall away from the practice room, still crying. He burst into a bathroom and splashed cold water on his face to try to stop the tears, but he was still sobbing.

His dream was over. He’d failed. Everything he’d worked for was over. He should pack his bag and go home. He could throw everything into a suitcase and catch a cab to the airport and send for the rest of his things, right?

No. That was crazy. Even if he didn’t make it with Stray Kids, he could train longer, maybe debut with another group. Chris had been a trainee for, what, seven years? Felix could be patient, right?

But did he want to be patient? His other dream was being a songwriter. He could go home, back to Australia, finish high school, go to university, study songwriting and composition, and go on to live his dream. He could do that. Right?

Felix dried his face, and then he slunk out of the bathroom. Ducked his head, headed for the doors. The winter night was a slap in the face, and he yanked up his hood, grateful for its warmth, but also for its protection. No one would recognize his face. He didn’t think he could handle being Felix, one of the Stray Kids, having to smile and be polite and friendly while people congratulated him and told him they hoped he did well on the show, because he’d just been eliminated.

Felix was so glad he had his mobile, because he could use it to ride the subway even without his wallet.

He hurried down into the station, swiped his mobile over the turnstile, and headed for the platform.

On a whim, he texted Minhyuk.

_ Hey, hyung, I know it’s been a while, but are you busy? Can you hang out? _

_ Right now? Yes I can. You’re lucky. _ Minhyuk spelled ‘lucky’ in English.

Felix sniffled but smiled despite himself.  _ Where should we meet? _

_ Have you eaten?  _ A very Korean response.

Felix hadn’t.  _ You want to cook again? _

_ We can’t use my kitchen because all my brothers are home. Want to go out for dinner? We can get Italian food. _

_ That sounds delicious. Do you have a place in mind? _

Minhyuk sent Felix the link to a restaurant website.  _ Does this food look all right? _

It looked more than all right.  _ Shall we meet there? _

Minhyuk said,  _ Meet me at this station and we can go together. _

Felix actually liked the sound of that better so he was less likely to get lost.  _ I’m not dressed up. _

_ It’s fine. Neither am I.  _

Luckily for Felix, the subway station where he was supposed to meet Minhyuk was only a couple of stops further. Felix waited on the platform near the escalators, staying tucked into his hoodie and keeping an eye out for Minhyuk, who was also wearing dark jeans and a dark hoodie. Felix recognized his stride.

He waved and called out, “Philip!”

Minhyuk turned, and he lit up, trotted over. “Yongbok,” he said, and for once, Felix wasn’t annoyed at someone using his Korean name.

Minhyuk reached out to pull Felix into one of those one-armed masculine hugs, but then he paused. “Are you all right?”

Felix started to nod, but then he sniffled, and he felt his eyes well up with tears again, and he scrubbed a hand over his face, horrified.

Minhyuk slung an arm around Felix’s shoulders and reeled him in tight. “Come on.” He guided Felix up the escalator and up the stairs and out of the subway station. When they hit the cold air, Minhyuk tugged up his own hood, and he tucked Felix’s hood more closely around his neck and face, and he led Felix toward the little convenience store where they’d bought snacks once.

Minhyuk bought hot cocoa and bowls of hot ramyeun, and then he led Felix further up the hill to the playground, which was deserted this late in the evening.

They sat on one of the benches.

“Eat up,” Minhyuk said. “It’ll make you feel at least a little bit better, since you haven’t eaten.”

Felix nodded. “Thanks, hyung.” He curled his hands around the steaming bowl of ramyeun and absorbed its warmth.

Minhyuk said, “You can talk about it, if you want. If you don’t want, I can push you on the swing for a bit, and we can go buy some sweet treats after, and then maybe we can go to the little arcade down the street and I can try to win you a plush toy. I know you like plush toys.”

Minhyuk looked earnest and concerned, and also he was so handsome, and this moment was like something out of a drama, only in a drama Minhyuk would be the secondary male lead, the one who didn’t get the girl. But Felix wasn’t any kind of leading lady.

Felix swallowed hard. If he’d screwed up his dream of being an idol, maybe he could have another dream. “Hyung,” he said in a small voice.

Minhyuk nodded expectantly.

“I’m failing my, ah, classes,” Felix said. “Because Korean is so hard. I might have to give up and go back to Australia.”

“Your Korean is much better than my English,” Minhyuk said.

Felix sniffled again. “It’s been so hard, all this time, and I’ve worked so hard, and I don’t want to just give up, but — maybe it’s best. I can finish high school in Australia, go to university, get an ordinary job.”

“You have to do what’s best for you,” Minhyuk said. “I’d miss you, but we could still message each other, right? And maybe one day I could visit you in Australia.”

Felix wasn’t sure if he should laugh or cry more. “Park Minhyuk, Minhyuk-hyung, Philip, you’re too sweet, did you know that?”

Minhyuk shook his head. “No. Everyone says I have no personality, that I’m like a rock.”

“Everyone is wrong. You’re sweet and cute, and if I went back to Australia, I’d miss you a lot. Because I like you.” Felix caught Minhyuk’s gaze and held it. His idol dreams were over. But maybe he could have this other dream.

Minhyuk’s hands stilled. “You like me? As in — this is a confession?”

Felix bit his lip and nodded.

Minhyuk set his ramyeun aside and scooted closer to Felix, looked him in the eye. “You’re serious?”

Felix nodded. “I am.”

“I like you too,” Minhyuk said quietly. “But — two boys dating. That won’t be easy for me.”

It would be easier for Felix back in Australia, but Felix had some notion of how hard it would be here in Korea.

“We don’t have to officially date right away,” Felix said. “If I have to go back to Australia, that could be really hard on both of us. But — we like each other, right? We can both like each other. We don’t have to be boyfriends. We can be — some-boys, right? That’s what they call it?”

Minhyuk reached up and smoothed his thumb over Felix’s cheekbone, tracing his freckles. Felix’s heartbeat doubled.

Minhyuk said softly, “You deserve to be more than a some-boy.”

“I’d be happy being your some-boy,” Felix said.

Minhyuk bit his lip, and he had such full, soft lips, and Felix really, really wanted to kiss him.

“Maybe we can both agree that we like each other, but we should take some time and think about whether we’ll date, since you need to figure out your classes and whether you’re moving back to Australia,” Minhyuk said.

Felix nodded.

Minhyuk went to reach for his ramyeun. Felix caught his wrist.

“Will you kiss me? I want you to kiss me.”

Minhyuk’s eyes went wide, and he blushed. 

Felix bit his lip. “Is that too blunt? I know on dramas couples always wait a long time to kiss, and we’re not really a couple, but —”

Minhyuk cupped his hands around Felix’s face, leaned in, and kissed him.

Felix had kissed a couple of girls back home, on a dare or during games at parties, but he’d never  _ really _ been kissed, not by someone he liked, who liked him back. 

Minhyuk kissed him softly, just a brief press of his lips, but it made Felix’s pulse race and his heart soar. When Minhyuk pulled back, Felix couldn’t help but whimper, because it was over too soon.

“Was that all right?” Minhyuk asked. 

Felix opened his eyes. Minhyuk was breathing hard, his cheeks pink, his dark eyes bright. He was beautiful. 

“It was good. But it was too short. Kiss me again?”

Minhyuk curled his hand around the back of Felix’s neck, tilted his head, and leaned in again. He brushed his lips against Felix’s over and over again, soft, feather-light kisses that made lightning spark along Felix’s skin. Felix pressed closer, eager for more but unsure of what to do, and then Minhyuk nipped at his bottom lip. Heat blazed down Felix’s spine, and he gasped, and then Minhyuk was licking his way into Felix’s mouth, and — oh. Oh. This was how kisses were supposed to be. 

Felix fisted his hands in Minhyuk’s hoodie and dragged him closer so they were pressed chest to chest. He wanted to feel Minhyuk’s heart beating. He —

Minhyuk pulled back, breathless. “I’m sorry. I lost my mind for a second there. If we get caught —”

Felix blinked, dazed. “Wow. That was amazing. I —”

“Pardon?”

Felix realized he’d reverted to English in his daze. “That was really, really good. Thank you. But you’re right. We should be careful. Um. Our food is getting cold.”

They scooped up their bowls of ramyeun and scooted closer to each other, sharing their warmth and happy, secret little smiles as they ate. When they finished their food, they held hands and sipped their hot cocoa.

“What now?” Felix asked.

“Want me to push you on the swings?” Minhyuk asked.

Felix considered. He hadn’t had someone push him on a swing in a really long time. He said, “Yeah, that sounds fun.”

Minhyuk smiled — and then darted in and kissed him on the tip of his nose.

Their breath steamed the air as they talked quietly, mostly about songs they liked. Minhyuk liked Justin Bieber and Bruno Mars. They both liked G-Dragon and Big Bang. They both listened to BTS. Hopefully they’d get to cook together again. 

Once their hot cocoa was finished, they threw the empty containers away, and it was time to play on the swings. 

Felix hopped up onto the swing, and Minhyuk stood behind him. 

“Go!” Felix shouted, and he started pumping his legs. There was something strangely reassuring about feeling Minhyuk’s hands on his back, pushing him higher and higher. Eventually Felix felt like he was flying, and he cheered. Then he shouted, “Swing with me!”

Minhyuk hopped onto the swing next to him, and soon he was swinging back and forth, climbing higher and higher on each pass until they were both soaring toward the stars.

Felix waited till he reached the apex of his forward swing, and then he jumped. Landed. Rolled.

Minhyuk leaped after him, but he staggered, windmilled his arms.

Felix caught him, and they both stumbled, but then Felix steadied them, and they paused, looked into each other’s eyes.

“I’ve got you,” Felix said, in English.

Minhyuk said, also in careful English, “Thanks.”

Felix leaned up and kissed him. He was careful, tugged Minhyuk into the shadow of a large slide, and they leaned up against the little climbing wall, arms around each other, kissing languidly.

“You taste like chocolate,” Felix said when they finally parted.

Minhyuk pressed another kiss to the corner of Felix’s mouth. “You taste like happiness,” he said,  _ haengbok, _ only he managed to make it sound like  _ Yongbok, _ and Felix couldn’t help but giggle.

“I like it,” Felix said. “Yongbok and Minhyuk.”

“Felix and Philip,” Minhyuk whispered back, smiling, and Felix couldn’t help but kiss him again.

And then Felix’s mobile buzzed in his pocket, over and over again. A series of concerned text messages from Chris.

Felix sighed. “It’s my roommate. I have to get back. I was upset when I left. He’s probably worried about me.”

Minhyuk nodded. “It’s getting late. I’ll walk you to the station, all right?”

“Thank you.”

They held hands till they reached the main street. Felix hated that they couldn’t keep holding hands, but the street lights were bright, and Stray Kids was being broadcast on MNet, which was a popular enough channel. Still, it was a cold enough night that no one would look too askance at the two of them walking very close together.

At the top of the stairs, they exchanged a one-armed bro hug that was woefully inadequate and too brief, and Felix missed Minhyuk’s warmth immediately.

“I’ll text you as soon as I’m back at my apartment,” Felix said, and winced, because he’d almost said dorm.

Minhyuk nodded and waved, his expression solemn.

Felix wanted to kiss him again, but instead he said, “I was lucky to see you,” and then he turned and hurried down the stairs before he did something he’d regret. 

As soon as he was on the train, he sent Minhyuk a message.

_ Miss you. _

Minhyuk sent back a selca. He was under a streetlamp, wearing his hoodie, bathed in golden light. He looked beautiful.

_ Miss you too. _

Felix looked at that selca all the way back to the dorm, and one last time before he tucked his mobile away, took a deep breath, and ascended the steps to the dorm room where the rest of the boy trainees were waiting.

“Felix,” Chris said, yanking him into a hug as soon as he was through the door.

Thankfully there were no cameras, but Felix couldn’t relax into the hug, was still cold and a little numb, and he missed Minhyuk even more.

“Don’t run off like that,” Chris said. “Are you all right? Did you eat?”

“I ate,” Felix said. 

“Everything will be fine,” Chris said. “Keep training. I’ll keep helping you with your Korean, okay?”

Felix nodded and ducked away from Chris. The others gave him a wide berth and didn’t mind when he didn’t talk to them for the rest of the night.

He texted Minhyuk to let him know he was home safe, and Minhyuk sent him another selca from his own bunk, again with his favourite stuffed wolf. Felix wished he was with Minhyuk, cuddling with the stuffed wolf too. Maybe they could cuddle together. 

Felix crawled into his own bunk and stared at the picture of Minhyuk till he fell asleep.

* * *

For the next week, Felix and Minho trained together alone in one of the small practice rooms while the others filmed for the Stray Kids show.

They didn’t say much to each other, and Felix spent a lot of time on his mobile, trying to think of cute messages to send to Minhyuk, clever flirty things to say. He was tempted to ask Minho for help, but trainees weren’t supposed to date.

Minhyuk sent him regular sweet messages, usually accompanied with selcas, and wow, Minhyuk looked good all the time, his hair styled, his clothes really fashionable. A couple of times he even sent videos of himself dancing, and he looked so good. His school had a really nice dance practice room, too, with lots of mirrors.

And then one of the managers came to fetch both of them, led them to the practice room with the seven other Stray Kids.

Felix and Minho had to pause in the corner while some of the show staff put basic makeup on them, styled their hair, and then they were sent to stand with the others while the announcement was made: they were back on the team. However much they’d struggled and were lacking, the team was more alive as nine than it was as seven, and they were back.

They were  _ back. _

Chris threw his arms around Felix and hugged him so tight he couldn’t breathe.

Relief and elation swept over Felix like a tidal wave. 

He was getting a second chance. This was another shot at his dream. He’d have to keep working hard to learn Korean, but this was it. His chance.

They’d have to do two performances of the same song, one as nine, one as seven, and let the judges decide, and that would be Felix and Minho’s truly final chance. Minho and Felix clung to each other, and Chris hung onto Felix’s shoulder tightly. They could do this. They could win this. 

Once the cameras shut off, Felix wilted in relief, feeling an adrenaline crash coming on. Chris and the others dragged him back to the dorm for food.

Felix reached for his mobile to text his family the good news, because he’d failed to text them the bad news and they’d had to see it on television themselves, and they sent back congratulatory messages full of sparkles and grinning and heart emojis. Felix went to text Minhyuk the good news, and then he paused.

Minhyuk.

Minhyuk didn’t know Felix was an idol trainee, thought Felix was a regular student.

And if Felix debuted, he and Minhyuk wouldn’t be allowed to be together.

Felix stared at his mobile, at the cute picture Minhyuk had sent before he’d set off for school that morning — he looked so good in his uniform — and felt a lump rise in his throat.

“Hey, you want some more soup?” Chris asked.

Felix looked up. “Pardon?” It took a second for him to realize that Chris had spoken to him in English.

Chris frowned. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy? You’re back with the Stray Kids.”

Felix darted a glance at Seungmin and Jisung, who spoke passably good English. Then he said, “I have something to tell you.”

Chris said, “Eat up, and then we’ll talk.”

Felix barely tasted his soup, and finally he and Chris wandered out to the tiny balcony where some of the older trainees would go for illicit cigarette breaks. It was freezing, and their breath was like dragon smoke in the night air.

“There’s someone I like,” Felix said.

“Oh?” Chris raised his eyebrows, his expression unreadable.

Felix bit his lip, took a deep breath. “We met a few times by coincidence. I didn’t mean to — I wasn’t trying to date. We’re not even really dating. When I got eliminated last week, I thought I’d have to pack up and go home, so I confessed, but I — I really like him.”

_ “Him? _ Felix, are you  _ mad?” _

“I didn’t even know I liked boys. I mean, you know, some guys are just so hot that it doesn’t matter that they’re guys, but Minhyuk —”

Chris swore. “If this gets out —”

Felix ducked his chin. “He doesn’t know I’m an idol trainee. He thinks I’m an exchange student or an international student or something. I didn’t tell him because I wanted — I wanted a friend away from all the crazy, you know?”

“When we debut, he’s going to find out you were a trainee,” Chris said.

“I don’t think he really pays attention to boy groups,” Felix said in a small voice. “I know he listens to girl groups, but a lot of boys who listen to girl groups don’t really pay attention to boy groups —”

“You have to break up with him, and you have to make him promise not to tell,” Chris said.

Felix’s chest tightened. “But —”

“Felix.” Chris grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. “You’ve worked too hard and come too far to fail now because of some guy you’re confused about.”

Felix wasn’t  _ confused _ about Minhyuk. He knew he liked Minhyuk. Just seeing Minhyuk’s face made him smile. The thought of seeing the hurt on Minhyuk’s face when Minhyuk found out Felix had lied was almost too much to bear.

“But what if he promises to keep it a secret? We could still be friends, right?”

Chris sighed. “But you couldn’t date. You’d be so busy. And once we debut, they take away our mobiles. You’d never get to talk to him, and you’d never get to see him, and how would that be fair to him? You said you’re not officially dating, right? Break it off now, before it gets really serious.”

But it  _ was _ serious. It felt serious. Minhyuk had been Felix’s first real kiss.

Felix bit his lip again. “Chris —”

Chris reached into Felix’s pocket and grabbed his mobile, waved it at him. “Call him. Break it off with him.”

As if on cue, a text message arrived from Minhyuk. A cute picture of him holding a banana milk and smiling.  _ Hope you had a good day! _

Felix had had a good day — and he was about to ruin Minhyuk’s.

“I should at least do it in person. He deserves that much,” Felix said.

Chris said, “If it looks like he’s going to do something rash, I’ll stop him.”

“He’s not like that,” Felix insisted. 

Chris pressed the mobile into Felix’s hands. “You have to do it. Not just for yourself — for the entire team. We need you. You’re one of our best dancers, and we need your voice. You heard the man himself — we’re not the same as seven. We need all nine.”

Felix stared at Minhyuk’s picture. Then he unlocked the mobile and tapped out a message very slowly.  _ Can we meet? _

He saw the three blinking dots that meant Minhyuk was typing a reply.  _ I’ll have to sneak out, but sure. Where? _

“Where should we meet?” Felix asked.

“The convenience store down the street,” Chris said. “I’ll watch from the window in case things get dodgy.”

Felix nodded. “All right.” He texted the information to Minhyuk, who promised to meet Felix as soon as possible.

Felix shoved his mobile back into his pocket. If he was going to lose his mobile at debut, he ought to back up its contents, like all the photos. He could email them to himself.

Felix went and scrubbed off his makeup and took out his earrings and fixed his hair, and then he and Chris headed out to meet Minhyuk. Chris took up a seat at the window of the convenience store, and Felix sat on a bench on the sidewalk just outside.

Minhyuk, wearing a leather jacket over a hoodie and looking unfairly gorgeous, approached quickly, his breath puffing on the air.

“Hey.” He smiled and reached out, pulled Felix into a warm hug.

Felix hung on longer than he should have.

Minhyuk pulled back. “How are you? Have you eaten?”

“I ate,” Felix said. “So, I have something to tell you. Er.” He swallowed hard, and tears started to burn in his eyes.

Minhyuk frowned. “You’re upset.” 

He guided Felix to sit down on the bench, sat beside him.

“If you need to take a moment, I can wait.”

Felix nodded. “Thanks. Er. I —”

Minhyuk stroked Felix’s hair. “Stay here. I’ll go get you a banana milk.” He hopped up and ran into the convenience store.

Felix’s mobile vibrated in his pocket. 

Text message from Chris.  _ What’s going on? _

_ He knows I’m upset so he’s getting me a treat. He’s so nice. He’s going to be so hurt. _

_ Do it fast. Rip the band-aid off. _

Felix glanced over at the window and saw Chris make a ripping motion with both hands.

Felix bit his lip and shoved his mobile back into his pocket.

Minhyuk returned with a couple of bottles of banana milk. He pressed one into Felix’s hands, and then he opened his own, drank.

Felix drank his as well, but he felt his hands shaking.

When the bottle was empty, Felix couldn’t let it go, clutched it tightly.

“Minhyuk,” he said. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

Minhyuk turned to him and smiled. “You can tell me anything.”

Felix tried to swallow the lump that had risen in his throat. “I — I lied to you. Before.”

Minhyuk’s smile vanished. “Lied about what? About liking me?”

“No, I do like you. It’s just — I’m not a student.”

Minhyuk frowned. “Oh? Then — did you drop out of school? I don’t mind if you did. I didn’t take the college entrance exam this year like everyone else, so.”

He sounded so sincere. Felix blinked rapidly.

“It’s — I’m an idol trainee. With, um, a big company.” Felix scrubbed at his face.

Minhyuk’s expression turned unreadable. 

He was hurt and upset. Felix had hurt him. He had no choice but to go forward.

“And — and I’m on an elimination show. And last week, when I was upset, and I said I’d failed my classes and I might have to go back to Australia — I’d been eliminated. Because my Korean isn’t very good. I’m a dancer and a rapper, but rapping is hard in another language.”

Minhyuk nodded slowly. “It would be, yes. It’s very admirable of you to learn how.”

Why was he still being so nice, dammit?

“This week they put me back on. I’m still on the team. If I succeed, I’m going to debut, and — and idols aren’t allowed to date. And they’ll take away my mobile. And I wouldn’t be allowed to date a boy anyway. I didn’t even know I liked boys before you.”

Minhyuk’s expression was still unreadable, but he reached out, curled his hands around Felix’s gently. “I didn’t know I liked boys before you either.”

Felix bit back a sob. “I’m so sorry. I’ve worked so hard and trained so hard and sacrificed so much for this opportunity to debut. Not just me, but the eight other boys on my team.”

“Eight?” Minhyuk asked.

Felix nodded. “Yeah. There’s nine of us on the show. It’s called Stray Kids. It’s on television.”

“You took a big risk, confessing to me, spending time with me,” Minhyuk said quietly.

“Because I like you so much!” Felix clapped a hand over his mouth, sobbing.

Minhyuk put an arm around his shoulders. 

“Please don’t hate me,” Felix stammered between sobs.

Minhyuk sighed. “I’m the last person who would hate you for being an idol trainee and making sacrifices for your career.”

“And you can’t tell anyone about me liking boys. Can’t tell anyone about us. I’m so sorry.” Felix squeezed his eyes shut, but the tears fell anyway.

“Aigoo, don’t cry.” Minhyuk wiped away Felix’s tears. “Are you trying to wash away your freckles?”

Felix couldn’t help but laugh despite himself, and when he opened his eyes, Minhyuk was smiling sadly.

“Promise you won’t hate Stray Kids when we debut?” Felix asked.

“Promise,” Minhyuk said.

“I understand if you never watch us on a broadcast show,” Felix said.

Minhyuk looked away for a moment. Then he said, “If I ever see you at a broadcast show, I won’t hate you, I’ll just admire how handsome you are, and I’ll miss you. But just so you know, no idol has ever been cancelled just for rumours of being gay, and your post-debut dating ban doesn’t last forever, and if you get a win you’ll get your mobile back sooner.”

Felix blinked and peered at Minhyuk through his spiky wet lashes. “Really?”

Minhyuk nodded. “There’s something I have to tell you, too.”

Only Chris said, “Felix, we have to go.”

“Wait,” Felix said, but Chris tugged on his arm.

Chris said to Minhyuk, “Please don’t ever contact him again.” And he started dragging Felix back toward the dorm.

Minhyuk called after him, “If we see each other again, please don’t hate me! I’m sorry!”

Felix twisted around and tried to look at him. Why would Minhyuk be sorry? Why would Felix ever hate him? Minhyuk had been nothing but nice to him the entire time they’d known each other.

“Block his number and delete the rest of his contact information,” Chris said as soon as they were back in the dorm.

“I will,” Felix said.

“Now.”

“I will! Just — let me save some of the pictures he sent me, all right? Before our mobiles get taken away.”

Chris stared at him. “You  _ really _ like him.”

Felix sniffled. “I think I’m in love with him. And I just broke my own heart, and possibly his too. But all of this — Stray Kids — will be worth it, right?”

Chris said, “It will be, if you work hard. Take all the energy and passion you’d have spent on him and give it to this team instead, and it will be.”

Felix nodded.

He retreated to his bunk and stared at the last picture Minhyuk had sent him till he fell asleep.

* * *

Felix emailed all the pictures of Minhyuk to himself — and to a backup email account just in case. He took a screenshot of Minhyuk’s contact page and emailed that to himself too before he stood in front of Chris and deleted it.

And then Felix threw himself headlong into Stray Kids, and they made it. They succeeded as a unit of nine, and they headed for debut. Every time Felix got excited about something and wanted to tell Minhyuk about it, he texted his parents and sisters instead, and then he gathered that energy and poured it into lyrics in a notebook that he’d work on translating into Korean later.

Felix danced hard, and he studied Korean, and he worked with the others, and finally the day arrived: debut.

It passed in a blur, but there was plenty of video footage to commemorate it, and SNS posts, and photos to boot.

Debut promotions were gruelling. It was an endless round of broadcast show performances, interviews, and variety show appearances. Felix barely ate and barely slept. He stuck close to Chris and did his best to concentrate and listen and understand what was going on around him, but he knew he screwed up royally more than once.

Not having a mobile was difficult, but it wasn’t like Felix and the others could leave the dorm willy-nilly anyway. If they wanted to talk to people, they turned on Vlive and talked to their fans, or maybe some of the other junior trainees, or if they got lucky, some of their sunbaes at the company. 

But they survived their debut promotions, and then it was back to the studio and practice room to work on their first comeback.

Felix wondered what Minhyuk was doing. Was he all right? Did he miss Felix? Did he ever get a chance to go to that Italian restaurant? Whenever Felix had to dance to a girl group song on a variety show, he remembered dancing with Minhyuk, and he did his best, because he knew Minhyuk would have looked amazing.

Minhyuk was a year older than Felix. He’d come of age. Was he going out drinking with his roommates? Had he graduated from school? He hadn’t taken the university entrance exam. Had he found a job? Was he drowning his sorrows? Was he seeing someone new? Had he enlisted in the army? It had been over six months since they’d spoken to each other.

Even though Felix thought of Minhyuk every day, there was no reason for Minhyuk to keep thinking of him.

And then came time for their comeback, and their first comeback stage at a broadcast show. 

Broadcast shows at MCountdown were a big deal, because their elimination show had been aired on MNet, so appearing on MCountdown was meaningful for them.

Because they were still rookies, they were crammed into the big group dressing room with the other rookie teams. For Felix, getting dressed up for the stage was like putting on battle armor. He was no longer goofy Felix Lee; he was Felix of Stray Kids, rapper and dancer. He was going to go out on that stage and slay.

Once they were all made up, Manager rounded them up and put a stack of CD’s in Chris’s hands. It was time for them to go around and greet their sunbaes and hand out their music and try to make some connections. They knocked on private dressing room doors, made introductions and greetings, and Chris gave out copies of their newest album.

“This next group, Astro, is from a small company,” Manager said. “They debuted in 2016, and at the time had the only boy from the 2000 line. Those of you in the 2000 line could benefit from becoming close to him, because he’s a very experienced performer for his age. His name is Yoon Sanha. Astro has Cha Eunwoo on their team. He’s very handsome. Even straight men are shocked by his looks, so be prepared and don’t do anything stupid. Also, they have one of the best dancers of this generation on their team. His name is Lucky. Hyunjin, Felix, Minho, you could benefit by becoming close to him and learning from him.”

“Lucky?” Felix whispered. “Is that his real name or stage name?”

“Rocky,” Chris said. “Like the boxer from the film.” He made a punching motion.

“Oh. Not that Lucky is a bad name,” Felix said.

Manager knocked on the door.

Astro’s manager answered, and they greeted each other, and the nine of them shuffled into the dressing room.

Five boys in black trousers and flowing white shirts assembled in a row, though a sixth was in the back in a chair while stylists fussed over him.

“Apologies — Rocky is still getting made up,” Astro’s manager said.

Manager had Felix and his teammates give their team greeting and make their introductions.

Astro did their team greeting —  _ Wanna be your star! We are Astro! —  _ and then they introduced themselves.

They looked familiar. Felix wondered if he’d seen them at a broadcast show before, or maybe on television. Jinjin, the leader and main rapper, had a deep voice and cool green hair. MJ, the eldest and main vocalist, was slender and pretty, with a sweet, almost feminine voice. Moonbin, lead vocalist and lead dancer and center was tall and strong-looking. Cha Eunwoo was — wow.

Wow. 

Even before Felix had realized he could like boys, Cha Eunwoo would have been the type of boy whose hotness defied gender boundaries. Felix glanced at his teammates, and they were staring too.

Cha Eunwoo was a vocalist and, for obvious reasons, the face of the group.

Yoon Sanha, the maknae and vocalist, was incredibly tall. 

And then the final member of the team rose up from the makeup chair in the back and stood beside Cha Eunwoo and bowed and said,

“Hello, I’m Astro’s Rocky, lead rapper and main dancer.”

He straightened up, and Felix stared.

At Park Minhyuk.

Today he was stunningly beautiful, with flawless skin and perfectly glossy dark hair and dangly earrings.

He met Felix’s gaze, and he ducked his chin, his expression turning apologetic.

Felix thought of the last time they’d seen each other, of what Minhyuk had said to him.

_ If I ever see you at a broadcast show, I won’t hate you, I’ll just admire how handsome you are, and I’ll miss you.  _

_ There’s something I have to tell you, too. _

_ If we see each other again, please don’t hate me! I’m sorry! _

Chris grabbed Felix’s arm tightly.

“Is that who I think it is?” he hissed in English.

Felix nodded minutely, unable to speak.

And then Cha Eunwoo said, “Rocky, you watched Stray Kids, didn’t you? The elimination show?”

“He watched it after it aired because he couldn’t handle the drama of waiting each week,” Sanha said, and Minhyuk’s other teammates laughed.

“Oh really?” Manager asked. “You watched the show? Who was your favourite?”

“Felix,” Minhyuk said softly. “We have a lot in common. We both do taekwondo, and also he likes to cook, and of course he’s a dancer and a rapper.”

“Even though he knew that all of you survived the show, he was very upset when Felix was eliminated,” Moonbin said, and Minhyuk ducked his head.

“Yah,” MJ said gently. “Don’t tease him.”

“Eunwoo is 97 line, Bin is 98 line, Rocky is 99 line, and Sanha is 2000 line,” Jinjin said. “I’m 96 line, and MJ-hyung is 94 line.”

A six-year age gap on the team seemed massive. Felix wondered how they all got along. 

Felix’s teammates recited their ages. Felix glanced at Chris and saw him studying Minhyuk closely. Felix glanced at Minhyuk’s teammates, but apart from apparently having seen bits of the elimination show, none of them seemed to recognize him or the rest of Felix’s team especially. And now Felix knew why they’d looked familiar — he’d seen them in the pictures in Minhyuk’s apartment.

“I hope we can become close,” Hyunjin said to Sanha, who nodded and smiled.

“We hope you enjoy our album,” Chris said.

Jinjin glanced at Sanha, who reached out and scooped up a CD, held it out.

Felix intercepted it before Seungmin could grab it.

“This is our newest album,” Jinjin said. “It’s a special album for our fans, but a lot of the songs are meaningful to listen to generally.”

“The title track is extra special, because Rocky gets to sing, and he doesn’t sing often,” MJ added. 

“But...you’re a rapper?” Felix asked.

“He trained as a singer as well,” Bin said. “I trained for seven years, and he trained for six.”

Felix swallowed hard. He’d only trained for one year before debuting. He remembered something else Minhyuk had said to him the last time they’d talked:  _ I’m the last person who would hate you for being an idol trainee and making sacrifices for your career. _

“Wow,” Felix said. Chris had trained for a really long time, too.

When Felix glanced over at Chris, he saw respect in Chris’s gaze.

Manager told them it was time to move on, and they bowed and made their farewells, and they shuffled out of the dressing room.

Right before the door closed, Felix heard MJ say,

“Yah, Minhyukie, put a smile on your face; the fans are expecting us soon.”

Felix barely paid attention to the next few sunbaes they greeted, just bowed and smiled and introduced himself when he was called upon. He kept a tight grip on Minhyuk’s team’s CD, though he planned on finding all their music as soon as he could, just so he could hear Minhyuk’s voice. Astro had music videos he could watch. And a YouTube channel. And probably a Vlive channel. 

Felix could see Minhyuk whenever he wanted. His heart was pounding. He could —

“Did you know?” Chris grabbed Felix’s shoulder and shook him.

Felix blinked. They were back in the dressing room. Chris had backed Felix into a corner.

“What?”

“Did you know he was an idol?”

“No! He never said. He only talked about school and taekwondo. He mentioned he liked to dance, and the one time I went to his apartment, his roommates were out. He called them roommates, not teammates. He said one was his classmate at school, and the others were sunbaes from high school who’d graduated and were working,” Felix protested.

“Well, all but one of them went to the same high school, so he wasn’t lying,” Chris said.

“That night I broke it off with him,” Felix said, “I think he was going to tell me, but you came and took me away, so he never had the chance.”

Chris stared at him. “You still like him. I know you do; don’t deny it. I know you saved all the selcas he sent you.”

“I won’t deny it,” Felix said.

“You know the rules,” Chris said.

“But you know he’d understand — about how busy I’ll be, and keeping it a secret.”

Chris groaned and went to scrub a hand over his face, stopped himself because they were wearing stage makeup. “You said you wanted someone away from all the crazy.”

“He’d be away from all the Stray Kids crazy.” Felix thought of how lovely Minhyuk had looked just now. 

“He lied to you too.”

“I think he wanted someone away from all the crazy too,” Felix said. But he remembered how Minhyuk had looked at him oddly every time he’d said  _ lucky _ in English.

Because it sounded like  _ Rocky. _

“So, what do you want to do?” Chris asked.

“I want to fix things, if I can,” Felix said. “If he’s willing.”

Chris heaved a deep, aggrieved sigh. “We’re rookies. This is madness.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I also know you can’t help what you feel.” Chris sighed again, then called out to their manager.

While Chris spoke to him, Felix went to stand with Hyunjin and Minho and watch Astro’s performance on the monitors.

“I looked them up online,” Hyunjin said. “Rocky’s been dancing since he was four. He’s done ballet, tap, jazz, and modern in addition to hip-hop.”

“He’s a really good dancer,” Felix said softly.

Minho glanced at him. “You’ve seen him dance?”

Astro had just taken their starting positions on stage after greeting the camera and production crew and staff and their loyal fans with their glowing purple lightsticks.

“I have,” Felix said.

Astro’s music was a very different style from Stray Kids’, but Felix could appreciate Jinjin’s flow. And Minhyuk’s singing voice.

Minhyuk was a truly beautiful dancer, and Astro’s stylist had chosen his stage costume to maximize Minhyuk’s role in the choreography.

“Look at that jump,” Minho said. “He definitely has ballet training. None of us can pull that off.”

“None of our music will ever require that kind of jump, though,” Hyunjin said.

“Yeah, but look at the power he puts into his moves too.” Minho made an appreciative noise. “He can move out of such a low base. You can too, Felix.”

“It’s from his taekwondo training. All that time in horse stance,” Felix said.

“His dance line is different from the rest of his team’s,” Minho said. “Look at his extensions. They’re really pretty. He’s so precise and powerful, but also so graceful.”

“I’m getting tired just watching him,” Hyunjin said. “We could learn a lot from him.”

Minho nudged Felix. “You’re his favorite. Befriend him and get him to teach us his secrets.”

“If he’ll forgive me,” Felix said.

* * *

Hours later, after the dry rehearsal and pre-recording and live recording and backstage interviews, they got to take a break and eat some food. They’d have to film a relay dance and maybe a few other entertainment segments, and then maybe they’d get to change out of their stage costumes and back into stylish clothes so they could go to their next schedule, which was a variety show appearance.

Felix sank down on the floor with a bowl of ramyeun and a pair of chopsticks — and then Manager called for him.

He rose up, bowl cradled close protectively, and went to answer the summons.

“Yes, hyungnim?”

Chris stood with Manager.

“Come on,” Manager said, and Felix set aside his bowl and followed Manager and Chris out of the dressing room and down the hall to a small side room — where Minhyuk, Jinjin, and Astro’s manager were waiting. 

Minhyuk and Jinjin had changed out of their stage costumes. 

“So is it true?” Manager asked. “Your boy was some-boys with our boy?”

“This is the first I’ve heard of it,” Astro’s manager said. “Jinwoo?”

Jinjin — real name Jinwoo, apparently — looked at Minhyuk.

Minhyuk said, “It was at the end of last year. I didn’t know he was a trainee, and he didn’t know I was an idol. He confessed when he thought he’d been eliminated, but when he was put back on the show, he broke it off, for the sake of his team. I understand the sacrifices that must be made for an idol career. We haven’t communicated since then.”

Manager glanced at Felix, who nodded.

“Chris made me delete his contact information, so.”

Minhyuk cast Chris an unreadable look but said nothing.

Chris took a deep breath. “I was doing what was best for my team. You’d have done the same. We’re rookies. We have a dating ban. We have to work hard. None of us can afford to be distracted. You remember what it was like.”

Jinwoo nodded slowly. “So why did you want to let them meet now?”

“If they’re going to be seeing each other during promotions and at events, they should be able to greet each other and interact without being burdened, so I thought they should be allowed to talk,” Chris said, a little stiffly. 

Manager and Astro’s manager looked at each other and nodded, backed away. Jinwoo and Chris looked at each other and also stepped away, giving Minhyuk and Felix a bit of privacy, though Felix was under no illusion that they wouldn’t be overheard.

“I’m really sorry I lied to you,” Felix said. “Everything was so stressful, and I wanted a friend who wasn’t involved in the idol industry.”

“I was looking for the same,” Minhyuk said softly. “I guess we weren’t so lucky, hm?”

“But I really did like you. A lot. I still like you. I miss you a lot, and I think about you every day. I saved the pictures you sent me, and I always think to myself, I have to work hard, so Minhyuk will be proud of me. Only here you are, a much more experienced sunbae, and you trained for so much longer.” Felix felt a lump rise in his throat.

“I  _ am _ proud of you,” Minhyuk said. “I watched your show, and I watched your debut promotions. I saw how much you struggled. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you, trying to perform in another language. I’m sorry I lied to you as well.”

“I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too. I got to see you, at least. Watch your music videos and the videos of your stages.”

Felix couldn’t help the sob that escaped.

“Aigoo, Felix, don’t cry.” Minhyuk reached out and pulled Felix close, dabbed carefully at his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve. “You’ll ruin your makeup. It’s waterproof, but it can’t survive everything forever.”

Felix clung to Minhyuk and cried. “Hyung, I’m so sorry.”

“I think you must have suffered more than I did.” Minhyuk hugged Felix and patted his hair. “It’s okay. I’m not angry. I missed you, but I understood why you did what you did.”

“Hey,” Manager said. “Easy. He’s still a student.”

“Now now,” Astro’s manager said. “Our Minhyukie was still a student when they were meeting. He only graduated and came of age earlier this year.”

“Why are you always so nice to me?” Felix asked.

“Because I love you,” Minhyuk whispered.

Felix cried harder.

“Yah!” Chris snapped. “What did you say to him?” He tugged Minhyuk away from Felix.

“No, don’t, he didn’t say anything mean,” Felix protested in English.

Manager sighed. “This. This is why we don’t let you date. Look at you. You’re a mess. You can’t focus. Your face is all puffy from crying.”

Minhyuk said, “You’ll have to splash cold water on your face to make the puffiness go down and then get your makeup redone. The stylists will be annoyed, but it’ll be worth it on camera.”

“There are some advantages to having friends who are sunbaes,” Jinwoo said from the sidelines. “They know a few tricks.”

“They can’t help what they feel,” Astro’s manager said.

Manager sighed again, sounding deeply aggrieved. “I know. But rules are rules, and a dating ban is no joke.”

Chris said, “Jinwoo-sunbaenim is right, though. Having friends who are sunbaes is helpful. We would be grateful for any guidance our sunbaes would be willing to give us.”

Minhyuk handed Felix some tissues so he could wipe his eyes.

“My makeup is ruined,” Felix muttered.

“But your freckles are so cute.”

Felix couldn’t help but smile.

“I’ve missed seeing your smile in person,” Minhyuk said, offering him a tiny dimpled smile.

“I’ve missed your smile too,” Felix said.

Jinwoo groaned. “Look at them. I can’t — I’m going to lose a tooth, they’re so sweet. If we let them do a joint dancing or cooking or taekwondo Vlive, it would be a disaster. They’d be all over each other.”

Manager considered. “The fans would love it, though. Fans love skinship.”

Astro’s Manager shook his head. “But the fans know Rocky is kind of a robot. He’s bad at aegyo. He’s not very cute.” 

Chris said, “It could be a mutually beneficial arrangement, right? Rocky-sunbae teaches Felix how to dance, Felix teaches Rocky how to be cute.”

“Sanha and Myungjun and I have tried for years, and he still doesn’t know how to do aegyo,” Jinwoo said. “It’s because he’s a firstborn son, and he’s from Jinju. And also it’s just his personality.”

“But look how cute they are together,” Astro’s manager said.

Felix was suddenly starkly aware of how he was curled close to Minhyuk’s side, Minhyuk’s arms around him, one hand on his belly, the gesture protective.

“Look — Felix has such tiny hands compared to Minhyuk,” Jinwoo said.

Felix looked down to where his and Minhyuk’s hands were intertwined. Felix had missed how nice and warm Minhyuk’s hands were.

“We can try one joint Vlive,” Manager said finally. “One. A cooking Vlive, since they won’t be able to get too handsy with each other. With at least one other member from each team, to keep things looking balanced.”

Astro’s manager nodded. 

“But under no circumstances are either of you two to think that you’re dating,” Manager said.

Felix nodded vigorously.

Minhyuk nodded as well.

“You’re still under a dating ban till one year after debut,” Manager said, “and you’re still a student.”

Felix nodded again.

“But if you want to be friends and spend time together — carefully supervised time that is mutually beneficial to both of your teams — that is acceptable to me,” Manager said.

“And me,” Astro’s manager said.

“Thank you, hyungnim,” Minhyuk said to his manager.

“Thank you,” Felix said to Chris, in English.

Chris nodded tightly.

Minhyuk said something to Jinwoo in satoori that made Jinwoo laugh and then nod, something that even Chris looked confused at, that made Astro’s manager roll his eyes.

“Now, you need to go get your makeup fixed,” Manager said to Felix.

Felix nodded and reluctantly stepped away from Minhyuk. “I’ll see you.”

Minhyuk nodded. “I’ll see you.”

Manager said to Astro’s manager, “I’ll call you.”

Chris said to Jinwoo, “I’ll call you too.”

Jinwoo nodded, looking amused, and then Felix followed Chris and Manager out of the room.

His ramyeun had long since gone cold, but he didn’t even care.

“Thanks,” he said quietly to Chris.

“You’d better work so hard now,” Chris said.

“I will.”

* * *

“Are we ready?” Jinwoo asked.

Myungjun, behind the mobile that was being used as the camera for today, gave them the okay sign.

“Wait,” Minhyuk said. He reached out, straightened Felix’s apron, then checked Jinwoo’s and Chris’s. He scanned the recipe one more time, checked the ingredients on the counter, and then he nodded to Myungjun.

Jinwoo began typing on his mobile. “Here goes.” He narrated as he went.  _ “Hello!” _

Chris, Felix, and Minhyuk crowded around Minhyuk’s mobile, watching fan comments flood the Vlive chat.

_ Who are you?  _

_ Will you be doing a broadcast soon?  _

_ Please be Eunwoo-oppa!  _

_ Just One Ten Minutes?  _

_ I miss you, Binnie!  _

_ I love you, Sanha! _

Jinwoo typed another message.  _ “We will be starting the broadcast soon.” _

More comments flooded the chat.

_ We? OT6 please! _

_ Binwoo juseyo! _

“Why do they want soap?” Felix asked.

“We’re supposed to be hiding,” Chris said, and he tugged on Felix’s arm.

Felix ducked down behind the counter obediently, but he reached out and curled his hand around Minhyuk’s ankle affectionately.

Minhyuk glanced down at him and smiled.

“Hello everyone,” Jinwoo said. “Today I am broadcasting with Rocky.”

“As you can see, I am wearing my apron, so this broadcast is a Chef Rocky special, today with rookie chef Jinjin,” Rocky said.

Even though Felix had seen plenty of Astro videos and seen Minhyuk in idol mode, witnessing it up close and in person was new and fascinating.

“We can see that viewers are entering the broadcast, so we will do our greeting,” Jinwoo said.

Felix tilted his head back and watched them make their greeting, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Today is a very special day,” Minhyuk said. “Not only do I have rookie chef Jinjin with me, but we have some very special guests with us today. Who could our guests be?”

“Well,” Jinwoo said, “our guests are very talented idols.”

“They’re talented dancers,” Minhyuk said.

“And rappers.”

“And singers.”

Minhyuk framed his face with his hands. “Just like us, so naturally we’re friends. Can you guess who they are?”

Jinwoo leaned in and peered at his mobile. “Ah, that’s a good guess, but that is incorrect. What should we give the fan who gets the correct answer?”

“A very special compliment,” Minhyuk said, expression quite serious.

Chris smothered a laugh.

“What other guesses are there?” Minhyuk also peered at the mobile. “Oh, you want more clues? They’re...rookies this year.”

“That’s a good guess,” Jinwoo said, “but that’s also incorrect.”

“They speak very good English,” Minhyuk said. “Oh? Close, but still incorrect.”

“Well, we shouldn’t keep our guests waiting,” Jinwoo said. “Everyone, please welcome...Bangchan and Felix from Stray Kids!”

Chris and Felix popped up from behind the counter and struck cute poses.

From behind the camera, Myungjun cheered wildly, and Chris was startled out of his pose.

“Don’t worry, he always sounds like that,” Jinwoo said. “Please, say hello to our fans and your fans as well.”

Chris and Felix offered their team greeting and introduced themselves.

“Thank you for being here today,” Minhyuk said, and it sounded so stiff and formal.

“Thank you for having us. We really appreciate it,” Chris said.

Felix bit his lip. He wanted to lean in to Minhyuk and absorb his warmth, but they were on camera and fans were watching. 

“So, what are we cooking today?” Jinwoo asked.

Minhyuk grinned at Felix and said, “Since Felix likes Italian pasta, we’ll be making fettuccine alfredo with garlic chicken, a tossed green salad, and brownies with ice cream for dessert.”

“That sounds delicious. I’m hungry already,” Jinwoo said, rubbing his belly.

“For our international fans, Bangchan and Felix will be translating into English while we cook,” Minhyuk said. “Here we have the recipe for the alfredo sauce, the garlic chicken, and the instructions for the salad.” He pointed to a large cardboard poster with step-by-step instructions written on it in neat hangeul. “And here we have the recipe for the brownies.” Minhyuk pointed to a second cardboard poster.

“Bangchan and I will be in charge of the brownies, and Felix and Minhyuk will be making the chicken and pasta,” Jinwoo said. “Are we ready?”

“Ready,” Felix said.

“Ready,” Chris said.

At first it was a bit awkward, taking turns speaking to the camera in English and Korean, going through the basics like washing their hands, washing and prepping their ingredients, but then Jinwoo suggested turning on some music while they cooked, and of course talk turned to music they liked, and Minhyuk and Felix ended up doing a little dance to a girl group song together.

Jinwoo and Chris kept an eye on the chat while they worked, reading fan comments, responding to questions. Plenty of Stray Kids fans were watching the broadcast, and lots of Astro fans were asking questions about Stray Kids. International fans were thrilled that their comments and questions were being read and understood even though Jinwoo had decent English skills. 

Felix stuck close to Minhyuk, following his instructions about how to mince the garlic with his knife.

“Here,” Minhyuk said gently, reaching out and curling his hand around Felix’s wrist. “If you squash the garlic clove with the flat of your blade, it’ll peel more easily and then slice more easily and release its juices better when you cook.”

Felix nodded. “Okay. Thank you.” He was hesitant to press down on the knife like that.

“As long as the blade is flat, you won’t cut yourself, but be careful,” Minhyuk said. He glanced up at the camera. “All right, Aroha? Stays? Be careful,” he said in cautious English.

Felix did his best to render Minhyuk’s cooking tip in English, then set about peeling and mincing the garlic while Minhyuk sliced up some chicken. Then Felix grated some cheese for the alfredo sauce.

“You do have really small hands,” Minhyuk said, as he stood behind Felix to help him toss the chicken in the garlic sauce.

“Because I’m precious and delicate,” Felix said, turning his nose up.

“Don’t drop any,” Chris teased in English.

“I won’t. Rocky-hyung is a good teacher,” Felix said, and smiled at Minhyuk.

“I didn’t say your small hands were bad.” Minhyuk’s hands around Felix’s were warm and strong. “I think your small hands are cute.”

“Because I’m cute,” Felix said.

Chris cast them both a look, but then Jinwoo nearly dropped the container of eggs, and there was some mild panic from the baking side of the kitchen.

While the brownies baked in the oven, the four of them sat down to enjoy their pasta and salad.

“This is really good,” Chris said. “Like something we’d eat at a restaurant.”

He tilted his plate to show off to the camera, and of course he and Felix snapped several pictures to mark the occasion. They took pictures of the food and each other and with each other, and then they dug in.

“What do you think?” Minhyuk asked Jinwoo.

“It is really good,” Jinwoo said, after taking a bite and chewing slowly. He smiled at Felix. “You have good taste in food. Italian food is good.”

“How did you get the sauce so creamy?” Chris asked. “I always hate when cheap sauce is really runny.”

“Using real cream is important,” Minhyuk said. “And also letting the sauce cool slowly. The sauce thickens as it cools. And add some flour.”

“When the others find out about this, you’ll have to cook for them,” Jinwoo said.

Felix shuddered. “Cooking for fifteen people? That might be too much.”

“Well, if they helped us, it wouldn’t be so bad,” Minhyuk said. “It’d be a whole party, hm?”

While they ate, Jinwoo asked Chris and Felix about growing up in Australia. Chris asked Minhyuk about growing up in Jinju, and they commiserated about how long they’d trained. Felix asked Jinwoo about where he’d grown up, in a place called Ilsan, and Jinwoo told him about going fishing a lot. 

Then the timer for the brownies went off. Jinwoo and Chris jumped up to get them out of the oven, and Minhyuk went to get whipped cream out of the fridge and ice cream out of the freezer.

“Here.” Minhyuk handed Felix the spray can of whipped cream, then set the container of ice cream and the scoop in the middle of the table. 

Chris cut four pieces of brownie out of the pan and set them on dessert plates, and Jinwoo drizzled them artfully with caramel and chocolate sauce. Minhyuk topped each piece with a neat spherical scoop of vanilla ice cream. 

He presented a plate to Felix, and Felix added a dollop of whipped cream from the can. 

“What do you think?” Chris asked.

“It looks good,” Felix admitted, and Jinwoo snapped a few photos with his mobile. 

“But,” Minyuk said, “and this is the important part: does it taste good?” He picked up a fork and used it to cut a corner off of the brownie, and then he forked the piece up and held it out to Felix.

“Be honest for the fans,” Minhyuk said. “Our hyungs can handle it.”

Felix leaned in — and met Minhyuk’s gaze before he nibbled up the brownie. 

“Mmmm. It’s actually really good.”

“You’re not just saying that because they’re our hyungs?” Minhyuk asked.

Felix cut a piece of brownie and held it out to Minhyuk. “I’m not.”

Minhyuk leaned in, and Felix was distracted by his lips as they closed around the fork, and then the way his eyes fluttered closed. Minhyuk hummed happily.

He opened his eyes and flashed Jinwoo and Chris an okay sign.

“It’s good?” Chris asked.

Minhyuk nodded. “Really delicious. You did a great job.”

Chris dug into his piece of brownie with gusto.

Jinwoo was an experienced idol, and he held a piece of brownie out to the camera. He also forked up a piece for Myungjun to have.

“You’d better save some for the rest of us,” Myungjun said.

“And you’d better save some for the rest of your team,” Minhyuk said to Felix.

“Is vanilla your favourite flavour of ice cream?” Felix asked.

Minhyuk shook his head. “But any other flavor with brownie overwhelms the flavour of the brownie.”

Jinwoo laughed. “Listen to him. He’s so particular when he cooks.”

“But the result speaks for itself,” Minhyuk said loftily. He fed Felix another piece of brownie.

While they ate, they read more fan comments and answered more fan questions. How had they met? Backstage at a broadcast show during recent promotions. What things did they have in common? Bangchan and Jinjin were close in age and both leaders. Rocky and Felix had both done taekwondo and were rappers and dancers. Would they be doing a musical collaboration any time soon? They didn’t have anything in the works yet; they were still hanging out and getting to know each other, and they had their own teams to focus on.

Once they’d finished eating, they bade their fans farewell, and Myungjun shut off the camera.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Jinwoo said.

Astro’s manager, who’d sat on the sofa and kept an eye on them, made a wordless sound of agreement.

“It wasn’t,” Chris said.

“You really should take some food home to your teammates,” Minhyuk said. “Between our team and yours, there won’t be a lot left, but they should at least get a taste.”

Myungjun said, “We’ll keep the pasta and chicken. Let them have the brownies.”

“Are you sure?” Chris asked.

Jinwoo nodded. “It’s fine. There’s more brownie, so it’ll be easier to divide among nine. Plus chicken and pasta and salad is healthier.”

“Are you trying to make my teammates fat?” Chris asked, but he accepted the reusable shopping bag Minhyuk gave him to put the pan of brownies in.

“Your teammates are younger and have better metabolism,” Jinwoo said.

“Yah,” Myungjun said as he reached for the chicken and pasta. “Are you calling me old?”

Minhyuk said quietly to Felix, “Let’s start cleaning up.”

While the older boys divvied up the food and packed it away, Minhyuk and Felix cleared away the dishes and stacked them on the counter, then started filling the sinks with water. Minhyuk showed Felix where the dish towels were.

“Want to listen to some music?” Minhyuk asked.

Felix nodded, and Minhyuk put on some soft R&B, bobbed his head to the beat while he swished the water to make soap suds form in one sink.

“I had fun today,” Felix said. “You think the fans liked it? We got a lot of viewers and hearts.”

“I think so. I had fun, too.” Minhyuk cast him a sidelong glance.

They were standing close enough for Felix to feel Minhyuk’s warmth, but Chris and Jinwoo and Myungjun were just at the table, and Astro’s manager was on the sofa, and Minhyuk’s other teammates were elsewhere in the apartment. It was like the first time Felix and Minhyuk had cooked together, but also so different.

“We finally got to make Italian food,” Felix said.

Minhyuk nodded and smiled.

Once the water was ready, Minhyuk scrubbed and rinsed, and Felix dried and stacked. They sang along to the songs they knew — Minhyuk did have a surprisingly pretty voice, given that he almost never sang on any of Astro’s songs — and moved to the music, and soon all the dishes were done.

“I don’t know where any of these go,” Felix said.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it later.” Minhyuk set the sinks to draining and washed his hands, dried them, and finally shrugged off his apron. Even though it was damp and spattered and stained from cooking, he folded it neatly. It had been a gift from a fan, who’d embroidered his initials on it. Minhyuk leaned against the counter and watched Myungjun, Chris, and Jinwoo crowd around Jinwoo’s laptop while they reviewed the stats on the Vlive broadcast and checked some of the comments.

Felix washed his hands as well, and then he leaned against the counter as well. The others seemed quite distracted, so he slid closer to Minhyuk and tucked himself against Minhyuk’s side and wrapped his arms around Minhyuk, absorbing his warmth.

“I’m going to miss you,” he said.

Minhyuk ducked his head and pressed his face to Felix’s hair. “I’ll miss you too. But I’ll be working hard, and you’ll be working hard, and your dating ban will be over before you know it, and you’ll have a mobile again, and —”

“Felix, it’s time to go,” Chris said.

Felix pouted but peeled himself away from Minhyuk’s side.

Manager was waiting at the door for them. He had a conversation with Astro’s manager while Felix and Chris put their shoes on. Minhyuk handed them the bag with the brownies in it. Sanha asked Chris to tell Hyunjin hello for him, and then it was time to say farewell.

Manager looked at Felix, sighed, and said, “One hug. One.”

Felix lit up, and he flung himself into Minhyuk’s arms. Minhyuk held him tightly for one moment, and then Chris was tugging him away.

“We’ll see you later,” Chris said to Jinwoo, and then they were saying goodbye for real.

“Well?” Chris asked in the van on the way back to the dorm.

“Thank you,” Felix said. “For everything.”

* * *

Minhyuk was right. Time passed in kind of a rush and a blur, because they did have to work so hard. Stray Kids was headed straight for another comeback, and Felix might have forgotten his own birthday if not for Minhyuk sending him a pair of plushies as a gift: a little stuffed wolf and a little stuffed cat.

While Felix and his team were working on promotions for their second comeback and third mini-album, Minhyuk was participating in a masked dance competition.

“How do you know it’s Rocky-sunbae?” Minho demanded.

“Look at his dance line,” Felix said. “It’s him. Plus no one else does turns like that.”

“Felix recognizes his abs,” Chris said.

Felix threw a pillow at him. 

Hyunjin said, reasonably, “Astro’s fandom colour is purple and they debuted on February twenty-third. Obviously he’s a member of Astro, whoever he is.”

“It’s definitely Rocky-sunbae,” Felix said.

“You mean your darling Minhyuk,” Chris said.

Felix threw another pillow at him.

Minhyuk was also preparing for Astro’s second concert — and their first full-length album.

“Can we go to the concert?” Felix asked.

“If we go in disguise, maybe,” Chris said. He added, “I’m going to hold a Moonbin slogan just to spite you.”

“You should hold a Jinjin slogan, out of leader solidarity. Unless Eunwoo is more your type?” Felix was sitting in front of Seungmin’s laptop, waiting for tickets to go on sale.

Chris threw a pillow at him. “You know if we just ask Jinwoo and Minhyuk, they’ll give us tickets, right?”

“But I want it to be a surprise.”

Chris rolled his eyes. “I’ll have our manager talk to their manager.”

Christmas and New Year passed in a blur. Felix’s family came to Seoul because he wasn’t able to go home, and he was terribly grateful to see them, even briefly. 

Minhyuk sent him a bottle of really nice cologne for Christmas, so Felix sent him a nice watch. 

And then Astro headed into their next comeback cycle, and they got their first win. Felix watched the results live in the dorm and clutched his cat and wolf plushies and nearly cried.

“Did you vote for them too? Shouldn’t you have voted for our sunbaes at our company?” Minho asked.

“I voted for WJSN,” Jisung said.

“Think he’ll cry?” Chris asked.

“Minhyuk? Not in public,” Felix said.

“He nearly cried at the concert,” Chris said.

Felix glared at him, then resumed gazing at the television.

He sent Minhyuk a set of really nice cooking knives as a congratulatory gift. Minhyuk sent him a card thanking him for the gift; there was a postscript from Sanha who sent his greetings to Hyunjin and also noted that knives were kind of a terrifying gift, and would Felix please send something less scary for Minhyuk’s birthday?

Felix almost sent Minhyuk a pair of really nice sneakers that would be comfortable to dance in until Chris told him that in Korea, for dating couples, shoes meant someone would run away and the couple would break up soon, so Felix bought Minhyuk a nice pair of earrings.

And then Felix and his teammates were headed for their next comeback. With their next comeback they’d have their one year anniversary debut, they’d be allowed to have mobiles again — and their dating ban would be over.

Felix had come of age — by Korean standards, at any rate. He’d worked hard, and Stray Kids as a team was doing well. Minhyuk’s team was off on a world tour, and they were doing well.

And now Felix had a mobile. He and Minhyuk could communicate again.

Felix found the screenshot of Minhyuk’s contact information and reentered it into his phone, and he sent a message.

_ Hyung, I miss you. _

He posed with the stuffed wolf and cat and sent a selca so Minhyuk would know who he was.

A moment later, he received a reply, which was a selca of a sleepy-looking Minhyuk in a hotel bed, looking adorable in a white t-shirt.

_ You have a mobile again? _

_ I do. _

_ And your dating ban is over? _

_ It is. _

_ I’m tired, but I’ll call you. _

Felix’s heart beat faster, but sure enough, his phone buzzed with an incoming video call.

“Hey, Felix.”

“Hey, Minhyuk.”

“How are you? Did you eat?”

“I ate.” Felix smiled.

Minhyuk covered a yawn with one hand, then smiled. “I can see your freckles.”

“When are you coming home?”

“Soon. How are comeback promotions?”

“Good.”

“You’re going to get your first win this time. I can feel it.” Minhyuk yawned again.

Felix couldn’t help but smile. Minhyuk looked adorable. “You’re tired. You should sleep.” 

“I will. I’ll dream of you. Good night, Felix.”

“Good night, Minhyuk.”

Before Felix could end the call, Minhyuk closed his eyes and curled on his side and fell asleep, still holding his phone. The angle was awkward, but Felix could see Minhyuk’s eyelashes fluttering on his cheek, see his lips part with a sigh. Felix watched Minhyuk sleep for a few moments, then ended the call himself.

“He’s really adorable, and I’m really lucky,” Felix said to himself, and he set his phone aside. He cuddled his stuffed wolf and kitten close, and then he uncapped his pen, flipped open his notebook, and set to work. He wanted to prove Minhyuk right and help his team and their fans earn their first win by the time Minhyuk got home.

* * *

“Pardon me,” Felix said. “I’m lost.”

Minhyuk turned to him, startled. “Ah — yes. Hello. What are you looking for?”

“I’m looking for my boyfriend. Have you seen him? Tall, handsome, talented.” Felix smiled and stepped closer to Minhyuk.

Minhyuk ducked his head. “Shh! If someone hears —”

“No one will know, because we are in disguise,” Felix said proudly, smoothing a hand over the front of his uniform. He’d borrowed one of Chris’s old school uniforms, and Minhyuk had borrowed one of his younger brother’s school uniforms — since there were plenty of pictures of Minhyuk in one of his actual school uniforms.

“Still, we’d better go before we get into trouble,” Minhyuk said, because they’d met outside of Chris’s old school.

He slipped his hand into Felix’s, and they ran from the gate just as a teacher yelled, 

“You! Students! Stop!”

They dashed down the street to the nearest bus stop and ducked behind its shelter, collapsed on the bench and cuddled together, giggling.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Felix asked.

“Today,” Minhyuk said, “is our first real date. So we have to do all the proper romantic things — go to the top of Namsan Tower and leave a lock, pose in front of the Love sign at Sebitseom, get a cake and light a candle.”

Felix nodded and rested his head on Minhyuk’s shoulder. “That sounds perfect.”

Minhyuk turned and kissed Felix softly on the mouth, and they waited for the bus to come.

“Hyung?” Felix said.

“Hm?”

“I’m really lucky I met you.”

“Me too.”

“Felix and Philip forever?”

“Minhyuk and Yongbok forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> So much gratitude to margaret_r for Aussie-picking Felix and Chan's voices for me and general beta services and feedback.
> 
> Title from the Super Junior song.
> 
> I think Felix is super cute but I'm not really a Stay so I hit up some Felix guides to get me oriented.
> 
> For Stays who don't know Astro:
> 
> [Crazy Sexy Cool](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0486DHOOXA) \- Astro's era around the time Felix ran into Rocky
> 
> [Always You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsT0OuLGjdU) \- Astro's era when Stray Kids had their first comeback
> 
> [Dance War First Round](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHAlWjoyt8U) \- Rocky is Purple 23 in Fake Love (lol no most of us couldn't tell who he was by his abs)
> 
> [All Night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqmRSgMhFF8) \- Astro's first win
> 
> For my Aroha readers who don't know Stray Kids:
> 
> [Distrct 9](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjkQFU7U1m0) \- Stray Kids MCountdown Debut Stage
> 
> [My Pace](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I_gIc57Gj8) \- Stray Kids comeback when Astro had their Always You special stage
> 
> [Miroh](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7kDkXmexp8) \- Stray Kids first win :)


End file.
